Updated: Feb 6, 2020
I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where you finally found an amazing job, for which you gave your all only to be fired or laid off for reasons you know had little to do with your performance and more to do with personal feelings. Listen babe, I know you want to question the world, the universe, even God and beat yourself up with the self-inflicting painful question WHY? What do you think is the biggest waste of time? Comparing yourself to others! I want you to know that you are not perfect but you are enough.
I’ll never forget when I was in high school and one of the cute popular guys took an interest in me; I was pretty blown away. Now I must mention that I didn’t have much experience dealing with guys, I mean for Christ sake I found out how sex really worked in 9th grade #truestory . Anyway, back to what I was telling you, so this guy decided to invite me out a few times. He would go to the football games and watch me perform (I was in the dance team although not one of the good ones) and then go back to the school to pick me up and take me home. Of course, I felt like I was in cloud nine, but this beautiful cloud got hit by lightning really quick (in Drake’s voice ‘went zero to a hundred real quick’) and so I fell on my ass. It only lasted about a few weeks and shortly after he gave me the cold shoulder. He began dating someone else, who later became a good friend of mine, but that didn’t last too long either. To make the long story short I found out that this guy had been going around saying he ended things with me because ‘I wasn’t pretty enough for him’. Now this was in high school but the words and the feeling lingered in my mind for years to come.
When I was let go of my recent job, I felt the very same way. This was a job I absolutely loved, and although some of the people who worked with me made me feel like I was not part of the team I still enjoyed my job every single day and poured my heart and soul into it. After a few days of having my pity-party (let’s face it, everyone needs one to get through the next chapter after your main character dies in the story) I realized how much I had learned at this place, the friendships I’d made and the experiences I had—which no one can ever take away from me. I remembered that although I wasn’t perfect, I was enough. I still had my creativity, my dreams although now they were slightly different and a heart full of hope because I finally decided that I was going to start that blog I had contemplated in the past, but always felt like it was going to suck and people would judge it and not like it—but now it’s here. It wasn’t until I read an amazing book by Elizabeth Gilbert ‘Big Magic’ that I felt more compelled to move forward with my little project.
Here is a quote that really stayed with me and I want you to think about it every time you feel that urge to do something that makes you happy, that makes you whole, but you haven’t taken that step forward because you’re concerned about how others will react to it.
“Reaction doesn’t belong to you. If people enjoy what you’ve created, terrific. If people ignore what you’ve created, too bad. If people misunderstand what you’ve created, don’t sweat it. And if people absolutely hate what you’ve created? What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud? Just smile sweetly and suggest—as politely as you possible can—that they go and make their own fucking art”. (Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear)
Remember that although you’ve heard this before, things do happen for a reason. We can only connect the dots going backwards and you have the choice on how you wish to move forward. We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are—change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong. Your current situation does not define your final destination. And one more thing—don’t be a woman hater, empower and help those women around you, start a chain reaction by letting them see you’re different, that you support them and are genuinely happy for their successes because let me tell you something my sexy knockout, one day you’ll be the one they’re cheering for. Now go do you and if you need a friend, I’m only a message away! “What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said? (asked the boy). ‘Help’ (said the horse). Asking for help isn’t giving up; it’s refusing to give up” (The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse—it’s a wonderful book) @Thatsmealexg
P.S. Do you recall when I told you about this boy in high school who dumped me because he said 'I wasn't pretty enough for him'! Well a couple of years later he was chasing after me, begging me for attention and I had the opportunity to say, thanks, but no thanks! Everything you do comes back around--good or bad 😎