Call me vain and all, but I am ‘that girl’ who checks herself in every mirror I can spot (and if you’re reading this you probably are, too). I need to make sure I don’t have something like quinoa on my teeth (which happened to Katy Perry on a red carpet—and where the hell was at least one spot where she could see her reflection! She could've used a friend, too but they didn't show up that day). I also use extensions in my hair; yes I wasn’t born with beautiful abundant locks, hence I do the next best thing, I pay for them, which is one of the reasons I always check for mirrors. I have no problem telling people about my amazing extensions, but I sure as hell don’t want them seeing where they attach to my head. Think of it as going to the bathroom—we all do it but never want anyone to see us doing it.
So checking any mirror I come across is not only a (sort of a bad) habit but what actually saved me once many moons ago. Back in the day when I was 19 I used to go clubbing a lot (the promoters always hooked me up although I wasn’t 21) and I have never been someone who is into drinking, instead I just wanted to dance all night. Here is 19 year-old me, wearing this beautiful catsuit, but it was open back and at that time in my life I had no bobbies so I used to stuff my bra with extra padding, double up on the miracle Victoria’s Secret bras, or when I wore something open-back, I’d stick the little pad in the front because I just didn’t want to look like a 12-year-old (and now that look is in style; go figure). Here I am, dancing up on a speaker, showing off my moves and spotted a bar with a mirror behind it where I could see myself—AND THANK GOD I did! I saw that one of my little pads had moved down so I now had one boob in its place and the other one about 3 inches down. Anyone who saw me must have had a good laugh or straight up felt bad for me. I got off my speaker, ran to the restroom and put those puppies back in place and decided I should give up my stage and just dance with everyone else on the floor to save me from shame.
I can also tell you the countless times I’ve left a public restroom and forgot to pull up my zipper and because I’m so keen at spotting these mirrors that God has so kindly placed in my path, I’ve fixed the issue before some stranger has to grow the balls to tell me about my zipper—because most strangers are so embarrassed of embarrassing you that they’d rather not embarrass you for two minutes and have you embarrass yourself for hours. I know that just sounded like a tongue twister but makes perfect sense!
So my beautiful sexy Chick, do not feel ashamed to be ‘that girl’ who checks herself wherever you spot your reflection, think of my story and say fuck it! I’d rather people WHO DON’T KNOW ME think of me as vain than to have them feel pity for me because of the quinoa on my teeth, or that my zipper is down or perhaps because I’m wearing my shirt or pants inside out!