7 Secrets to keeping your man long term, and I speak from experience.

There is no doubt men and women operate differently, especially when it comes to relationships. Most of us CHICKS (Confident Hip and In Control Knockouts) want romance, an emotional connection, attention to the small details and for sex not to just be sex but require foreplay and ways to make us relax and be more in the mood—perhaps a back massage!

Men on the other hand are driven by their testosterone and innate animal ways. I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for almost 15 years and I have to say that it hasn’t been easy but us women need to keep it interesting and have them on their toes. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but most successful relationships require work and commitment. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t always this savvy; I had my failed relationships; however, I did learn plenty from them. Here are some of the secrets to keeping your babe happy interested and yearning for more.

Be a confident and happy CHICK. When you are happy you attract happiness and with that also comes being confident. There is nothing sexier than a woman who is confident and sure of herself. She knows what she brings to the table and when your partner is aware of that he will feel as if you’re that catch everyone is dying to steal. Trust me, this is one of the most important keys to keeping him totally into you.

Stop being ‘Yes Girl’. I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen nothing turns a guy on more than an occasional ‘NO’. And I do mean occasional because no one likes a ‘difficult chick’. There is no secret men like games—even in a committed relationship, so give them a taste once in a while. When something becomes too easy or predictable it becomes boring. When he asks ‘where do you want to eat’ have a couple of answers ready, be assertive—that makes you sexy. Try becoming unavailable once in a while and initiate intimacy, but tease him before you decide to let him have you.

Become his cheerleader. Yes, as silly as that sounds. Men like to feel you support them, give them compliments in front of others, support his ideas and show interest in his projects and endeavors by providing truly heartfelt feedback. If you know nothing about the subject take the time to do a little research—in other words, WOW emotionally and intellectually, not just with your looks.

Continue to be and look like the knockout you are. What was it that attracted him to you when he first met you? Was it because you dressed well, worked out, were well read, liked to wear those sexy heels once in a while or found time to do the things you love? Being in a relationship doesn’t mean letting it all go just to be with that person. Through the years I’ve seen so many of my friends make these mistakes. Men love a woman who likes to take care of herself, dress sexy when the occasion arises, work out and still find time to do the things she loved when they first met. Don’t lose who you are! That is why he fell for you.

Give him space. I find that to be one of the hardest things to do because most of us want to resolve our issues right away, and he may need time to cool down, think things through and miss you. This also means that if he wants to hang out with his boys sporadically, he should and you should do the same. No temper-tantrums or threats nor ill behavior on your part. Be graceful because that shows him you know you’re the cat’s meow, the eighth wonder of the world and the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Don’t become the Queen of Criticism. I understand you may want to mold him a bit for the better but there is a very fine line between constructive and toxic criticism, and since this is relevant to the subject, don’t nag. Find more tactful ways to talk about the things that bother you in your relationship without insults or putting the other person down. Be smart, write things down, think about them and say them out loud. How do the sound if he were saying them to you? Go back and rewrite them so they can come across with love but firm at the same time.

Sex. Yes, and this is more for those of us who have been in a relationship for a long time. You gotta keep it hot and heavy in the bedroom—not all the time but now and then. Men love lingerie, to be seduced. Set up time for sex, as lame as that sounds make it happen and let him know what are some of the things that help put you in the mood. Send him some naughty texts or provocative pictures. I love it when my husband gives me massages. That helps me relieve tension and I’m more willing to participate in mischief and somersaults.

Love yourself. Because if you can’t love yourself it’s hard for you to love someone the way he or she deserves to be loved.

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